Preserved for posterity.
Scott Adams
April 13, 2007
Post Removed
I removed today's post so that my governor would not have a car
accident.
Original Post:
There's an old ***ist joke about the perfect woman: She makes
passionate love to a guy and then turns into a pizza. I was reminded
of this when Larry Birkhead proved he's the father of Anna Nicole
Smith's baby. Let me break it down for you.
Birkhead, a paparazzo, has *** with an ex-Playmate of the Year, during
one of her skinny years. She produces a healthy baby girl that
Birkhead wants to raise, she dies, makes Birkhead world-famous, and
leaves (potentially) a zillion dollars to the kid.
I'm just saying it makes the pizza option look suboptimal.
I saw on the news that Howard Stern was giving his full sup****t to
Birkhead. This surprised many people. But I'm a lip reader and I could
tell how the conversation went by watching the video footage.
Stern: You win, Larry. You have my full sup****t.
Birkhead: Gosh, thanks. I didn't expect a lawyer to be so nice.
Stern: And I'll also help you and the kid win the legal battle with
the old dead millionaire guy so your daughter will be rich.
Birkhead: I don't know what to say.
Stern: Oh, and one more thing.
Birkhead: What?
Stern: When she turns 18, I'm going to shack up with her. This won't
be the last time she hears "Who's your daddy?"
Birkhead: WHAT?
Stern: Let's call today "round one."
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