Kryten listened to Lister's orders very carefully: "Yes sir. Yes Mr Lister,
of course I quite understand. It will be undertaken, immediately, sir!".
Kryten answered him seriously. "We haven't got much choice in the matter,
Kryten man!"said Lister. Kryten went to work, via Lister's orders,
straight
away, and it only took Kryten, the best part of five minutes to locate the
small objects, in question, that Mr Lister had requested, via his chest
monitor. And Lister was able, to conceal, those small objects, in
question,
via his person, fairly easily.
Unfortunately however, it took Kryten and Lister, the best part of twenty
five minutes, to remove the large objects in question, that Mr Lister had
requested, via the electronic hacksaw, that he had located, via the
Engineering Deck, earlier on. Kryten had decided to keep the electronic
hacksaw, after he and Lister had removed, the large objects, in question,
with it, especially as it came with a strap, and it was a fairly
lightweight
electronic hacksaw and who knows, it might come in useful, at a later
date!
Lister and Kryten, made their way, to the Cargo bay on the Starship
Titanic,
where Starbug was situated, but having to carry, those necessary large
objects,
in question, was really hindering their progress and the sweat, was
pouring
off Kryten and Lister! And it was a real struggle for them, just to climb
up,
the ornate staircase, which led to the ornate Salon, with the large
objects,
in question, just to get them back, to the Second Class area, of the ship.
And, Kryten and Lister, barely spoke to one another unless, it was
absolutely
necessary of course! In fact, they were heaving, so badly, via carrying
the
large objects, in question, that more or less rendered speech, next to
nigh,
impossible anyhow!
In-between times, however, Lister spotted, some shiny objects, in
question,
in, The Reception Room. He stated to Kryten, who
agreed with him. that these unused shiny objects, would be more, than
enough,
to achieve their quest, and hewas also able, to fold the unused shiny
objects,
in question, into the ripped lining, of his tatty leather jacket, which
fitted, as
snug as a bug, inside along, with the small objects, in question, anyhow!
Unfortunately however, Lister felt a bit bogged down, with the small
objects,
in question, the unused shiny objects, in question, and not to mention,
the
large
objects, in question! But somehow, one way or another, he managed, to
trundle
along, with Kryten, albeit very slowly, anyhow!
And after a while, Kryten and Lister had no choice, but to pause, for a
very
brief rest, by the door of the Smoking Room, on the Second Class area, of
The
Starship Titanic. Unfortunately however, it was a very brief respite,
because
yet another ship quake, hit The Starship Titanic.
Lister trembled, as he heard the chandelier rattle, quite badly, in the
ornate
Salon down the stairs.Kryten stated: "I suggest, that we don't pause for
any
more rests, if we can help it sir. We need to ambulate, to the Cargo bay
and
make our way, toStarbug as quickly as possible! I predict, that it will
only
be a matter of time, before the ship explodes! I do not think, that we
have
got a lot of time left sir!". "You haven't got to tell me, Kryten, let's
leg
it
man!" stated Lister. But that said, Kryten and Lister, were determined,
not
to
leave, the large objects, in question, behind, if they could help it,
anyhow!
But unfortunately however, the way back to the exit, of the Second Class
area,
of the Starship Titanic, seemed a lot further, than Kryten and Lister, had
originally remembered! And slowly but surely, they managed, to make their
way
out, of the Second Class area, of The Starship Titanic, down to the
Standard
Class area, of the ship, with the large objects, in question anyhow! And
besides,
it was definitely, a lot easier, heaving the large objects, in question,
downstairs,
the metallic staircase, of the Standard Class area, of The Starship
Titanic,
than up
those ornate stairs, of the First Class Salon, anyway! But that said, the
sweat, was
absolutely pouring, off Kryten and Lister, when they reached, the bottom,
of
the
metallic staircase, of the Standard Class area, of The Starship Titanic,
and
they
had no choice, but to pause, for a very brief rest, again.
And Lister suddenly gasped, because his boots, were absolutely sopping
wet!
The water was very low, around Lister and Kryten, but it would only, be a
matter of time, before this area, of the ship, began to flood, which would
no
doubt, catch up, with the rest of the ship, very soon! Lister shuddered,
as
he
watched, a rat, swimming proudly, alongside him, and Kryten, in the water!
But Lister and Kryten, just carried on, moving, nevertheless, anyhow!
Inbetween-times, another quake, shook the ship, as they passed, the
Smoking Room, which was their very last stop, just before, they
reached the Crewman's
Passage. And Kryten and Lister, shuddered, as they heard the
smattering of glass, from the mirrors, that were left over, in the Smoking
Room.
Fortunately however, the door was firmly closed, as Lister and Kryten
struggled past, with the large objects, in question, even though, it was
a real struggle to get past, the door of the Smoking Room, while there
was yet another ship quake, anyhow! But Kryten and Lister, soon
realised, that they had got no choice, but to keep on moving, with the
large objects, in question, because their lives, depended on it, if they
wanted to reach the Cargo bay area, where Starbug, was situated!
And, it was a good job, that the door, of the Smoking Room, was
firmly closed, because the shards of glass, would have fired into,
Lister's body, like knives, had they passed, at that point in time, if the
door of the Smoking Room, had been open! Kryten would have been,
alright, because of his suit, of protective body armour, not to mention,
the large object, in question, that he could have used, as a protective
shield, that he was carrying! At a push, Lister could have used, the
large object, in question, that he was carrying, as a protective shield,
against the shards of glass, but it might, not have been, quite enough,
to have saved his life, anyhow!
After five minutes had passed, the latest ship quake, suddenly stopped.
Lister and Kryten,
both breathed a large sigh of relief, after the quake had subsided.But
they
carried on moving, with the large objects, in question, nevertheless,
because
they both knew, that it would only be, a matter of time, before yet
another
ship quake, hit them again, and that quake, might be more than enough, to
total, the ship completely, and not to mention, Lister and Kryten, and the
remaining crew members of Starbug!
Fortunately however, even though, they were heavily weighed down, by the
large objects, in question, it didn't take Lister and Kryten, all that
long, to
reach, the Crewman's Passage, which was their last stop, before they
reached,
the Engineering Deck, of The Starship Titanic, which would take them, to
the
Cargo bay area, where Starbug was situated! It seemed that, the Kitchen,
was their last, but one stop, before Lister and Kryten, reached the
entrance,
of the Engineering Deck, of The Starship Titanic.The sweat was pouring,
off
Lister and Kryten, and they knew, that they had got, no choice, but to
pause
and rest, and they placed, the large objects, in question, against the
wall,
of
the Crewman's Passage.
And it was then, that Lister noticed, something important, on a table, in
the
Kitchen. And Lister realised, that it was now or never, and he raced into
the Kitchen. Naturally Kryten, was rather shocked to say the very least!
"Mr Lister sir, the entrance to the Engineering Deck, is in that
direction,
sir!".
"I'm fully aware of that Kryten man! I've just spotted something. I won't
be
a minute, man!". "Have you gone out of your mind, Sir?!". We haven't got,
very much time left, before the ship explodes!".
Fortunately however, it wasn't very long, before Lister emerged, out of
the
Kitchen area, with a bottle of Napolean Brandy! Kryten sighed, and he
stated:
"And how do you propose, to carry that sir? We're weighed down enough,
as it is! I really don't think, that a bottle of brandy, is a necessary
item, where
our quest, is concerned sir!". "It's necessary to me, Kryten man! I'm
going
to
need this bottle of brandy, if we ever get clear, of this confounded ship!
And
besides, I'll manage somehow! Where there's a will, there's always a
smegging
way! And we've got this far, haven't we?!". Kryten sighed.Where Lister's
stubborness, was concerned, he realised, that it was absolutely pointless,
arguing
with him. He knew him, far too well, for that, anyway! "If you say so
sir".
And
they knew, that they had got no choice, but to continue underway, back to
Starbug,
when it actually came down to it, at the end of the day!
In-between times, Kryten was kind enough, to swop, the electronic hacksaw,
and the bottle of Napolean brandy, but it didn't really make, a great deal
of
difference, when it actually came down to it at the end of the day! Lister
and
Kryten were still, very heavily weighed down, via all of the small and
large
objects in question, that they were carrying, anyway!
And the Records Office, was their very last stop, before Lister and
Kryten,
finally
reached, the Engineering Deck of the Starship Titanic! And Kryten and
Lister,
were vastly relieved, once they finally reached, the entrance, of the
cavernous
Engineering Deck. But they were not, quite, out of the woods yet, because,
as
it was so vast, it was a very long walk, to the Cargo bay of the Starship
Titanic.
And, there was only, a very slight pinprick of light, in the distance,
which
indicated,
the entrance, of the Cargo bay!
Kryten and Lister, moved as swiftly, as much as it was possible, for them
to
do
so, with the large objects, in question, in the circumstances, anyhow! And
again, the sweat, was absolutely pouring, off Kryten and Lister!
Unfortunately
however, after they had progressed, about five hundred yards, another ship
quake, hit them, yet again! And this time, it was a great deal rougher,
than
the
previous ship quakes, that they had encountered, earlier on! And once
again,
Lister and Kryten, were shook from side to side!
But fortunately for them, however the
large objects in question, helped to keep them, weighed down, to a certain
extent, anyway! But unfortunately however, it wasn't quite as simple, as
all
that! Suddenly without any warning, the electric lights, in the
Engineering
Deck,
started to flash, on and off! Lister and Kryten, shuddered.It seemed, that
the
ship quakes, were knackering everything up! And then, they were suddenly,
plunged, into pitch darkness! And Lister, could no longer, make out, the
very
slight pinprick of light, in the distance, which indicated, the entrance
of
the Cargo Bay! Lister felt scared, and completely all alone, in the
Universe!
And it looked, as is the security of the electricity, on the Starship
Titanic,
had deserted them, for once and for all!
Fortunately however, Kryten did his
best, to reassure, Lister: "Please carry on moving forwards, Mr Lister. We
are definitely moving, in the right direction, towards the Cargo bay". And
this
obviously, didn't have Lister, brimming fullof confidence! "How can you be
certain, of that Kryten?" Lister asked him."You are forgetting the fact,
that
with my additional optical effects, where my vision is concerned, that I
can
quite easily make out, the entrance to the Cargo bay sir. And even where
there is, no artificial light, my split screens, have the ability, to make
artificial
light capability, where the Quantel technology, is concerned. And
naturally,
the slow motion, is very effective, where zooming in, the exact position,
of
the Cargo bay entrance, is concerned, sir!". Of course! Lister thought.
Kryten's
eyes, were the equivalent of a very primitive, computer screen! And
suddenly
Lister, felt a great deal, more confident, where reaching Starbug, was
concerned! And he was forever thankful, that Kryten, had decided, to be
restored, as a Mechanoid, when he had become, temporarily human, via the
DNA Suite! And God help, their current predicament, had Kryten, decided,
to remain a human! And with that in mind, Lister carried on, moving in, a
forwards direction, to the entrance of the Cargo bay, with the large
objects,
in question!
It was a real struggle for
Lister and Kryten, to continue moving, with the large objects, in
question,
in
the circumstances, though. But that said, they were absolutely,
determined,
not to give up, without a fight! But moving along, the Cargo bay, of the
Starship Titanic, in the dark, definitely, didn't exactly, have them,
overbrimming,
with confidence, when it actually came down to it, at the end of the day!
Fortunately however, as if by a major miracle, after the best part of
fifteen minutes, the electricity came back on! And Lister, was forever
grateful,
that the power, was back on, because he had felt, like a blind man, in the
dark!
And what was more, the slight pinprick of light, in the distance, which
indicated, the entrance, of the Cargo Bay, was a lot sharper and more
clearer,
now! And Lister, was forever thankful, that he had trusted, Kryten's
judgement,
via his optical systems, where the Cargo bay entrance, was concerned,
earlier
on! "We must keep on moving, Mr Lister sir. We haven't got much time, to
waste, and I have got a feeling, that we are living, on borrowed time,
where
the
electricity, on this ship, is concerned. And, that it will only be, a
matter
of
time, before we lose it, again. And, it will only be a matter of time,
before
we lose, the rest of the ships systems, such as the heat, the air
conditioning,
and the oxygen supply!". Lister nodded. He felt, that it was probably, for
the
best, if he didn't argue, with Kryten, as they both moved forwards, in a
far
more positive direction, to the Cargo bay, of the Starship Titanic!
Fortunately
however, nothing untoward, happened to Lister and Kryten during the
twenty
minutes, that it took them, to reach the Cargo bay. And thankfully, the
entrance, of the Cargo bay, of the Starship Titanic, was more, than wide
enough,
to let them, both through, at the same time. And Lister and Kryten, were
vastly
relieved, that they hadn't got to walk behind, one another, for the time
being,
anyhow! And thankfully, Starbug was positioned, in the middle of the Cargo
bay, exactly where they had originally, left it! And it was only a hundred
yards,
walk, to reach it!
But by the time, that Kryten and Lister had reached, the boarding stairs
of
Starbug,
they felt, that they had walked, at least a
hundred miles, with the large objects, in question! And what was more,
they
were
soon faced, by a very red faced Rimmer, and a very agitated, looking Cat,
into the
bargain! "Where the smeg have you two been?! This ship is about to blow,
at
any minute!" stated Rimmer. "We're fully aware, of that fact, Rimmer.
We're
ready,
to board, the bug now". "You don't understand! We need to open, the Cargo
bay doors, immediately!". "Yeah, it's going, to take you two, forever to
board Starbug, with all that junk, man!" stated the Cat. "It won't man!"
insisted Lister. "And while we're all standing here, arguing about it, you
could delay our departure, and cause the ship, to blow up, before it's
time!".
"He's absolutely, right, sirs. We cannot afford, any more delays. We are
going,
to board now, and we will endeavour, to do that as soon as possible!"
insisted
Kryten. "It will take you two, forever, with all of that junk!" stated
Rimmer.
Lister thought, that it was
probably for the best, if he humoured Rimmer, for the time being, anyhow.
"Please Rimmer, can't you give us, the best part, of five minutes, before
you
link up, to the mainframe Cargo bay's, computer commands?!". Lister looked
like, a soulful little cherub, at the bottom, of Starbug's boarding
stairs,
that
Rimmer, almost felt sorry for him, and he knew, that he couldn't resist
him,
anyway! But little did Rimmer know, that Lister was been very crafty, so
that
he could appeal, to his militaristic nature, and that, he could claim,
that
giving, Lister and Kryten, an extra five minutes, before he ordered, the
mainframe Cargo bay's computer, to open, the Cargo bay's doors, was
originally, his idea, in the first place! And that, he would take, all of
the credit,
if Lister and Kryten, were fortunate enough, to board Starbug, with the
large and
small objects, in question, that is! "Alright you two, you have got five
minutes, starting from now! And after that, I will order, the mainframe
Cargo
bays, computer, to open, the Cargo bay doors! And after that, I will give
it
another five minutes, before I order, the onboard computer, to raise the
boarding stairs, and I will do my best, to leave the airlock door, open
for
you,
as long, as it is possible, for me to do so! And after that, the rest is
up
to you!" stated Rimmer. "Thanks Rimmer" stated Lister, gratefully. He had
to admit, that Rimmer, was doing, his level best, to do, what was fair,
for
them all, in the circumstances, anyhow. He couldn't hold that, against
him,
for
once, anyhow!
Kryten stated - "After you sir. I need less oxygen than you. A human life,
must take precedence, over a Mechanoid's. It has been indoctrinated, into
my
programming, after all!". Lister nodded. For once, he wasn't going, to
argue,
with Kryten, where that was concerned! He lifted, his large object, in
question,
up the boarding stairs, by about four steps, and he positioned himself, on
to
the bottom step, which was fairly, straightforward enough, but that was a
lot easier, said than done, once he lifted, the large object, in question
by
about, yet another four steps! And climbing up, on to the second step,
took
quite a considerable effort. But that said, it was well worth it, just to
get
off the ground, that little bit more, anyhow! Rimmer and the Cat's,
expressions,
were ones, of considerable pain. But that said, Rimmer sighed and pointed,
to
his watch, and he stated: "You two, have got five minutes, starting from
now!
And be quick, about it!". And with that, Rimmer and the Cat, went back,
inside
the bug.
Lister and Kryten, were fully aware, that Rimmer and the Cat, weren't been
merciless. They were preparing, their positions, in the cockpit, for take
off.
And Lister realised, that Rimmer was been, very generous. He had bought
Lister and Kryten, that little bit, more time, to give them, a bit of a
start, at the
very least! And Lister knew, that deep down, Rimmer was all talk, and that
he
wasn't truly, the coward, that he made himself, out to be, half the time,
when it
actually came down to it, at the end of the day!
And with that in mind, Lister felt a little bit more hopeful, as he lifted
the
large object, in question up, yet another four steps, and he climbed,
onto
the
third step. And after the same, had been achieved, after Lister, had
climbed,
onto the fourth step, he breathed, a huge sigh, of relief, after he heard,
Kryten
lift, his large object, in question, onto the fourth step, just by the
edge,
of
his own feet, and the clang, of Kryten's metallic feet, on the very first
step!
And Lister forged ahead, with even more hope, in his heart, after that!
But
he
knew, beyond a doubt, that time, was running out, for him and Kryten! But
that
said, he refused, to give up without a fight, just like that, anyhow!
So in this flashback scene of The Alternative Red Dwarf, now that we have
worked out, the exact significance of the derelict Starship Titanic! And
what
are Lister's plans, for making amends, where the destruction of Rimmer's
camphor wood trunk, is concerned via the original Red Dwarf III: Episode
II:
Marooned? And will Lister and Kryten, be able to board Starbug, with the
large and small objects, in question, without any further hitches?
And back to the present: Will Lister and Kryten, ever move, Rimmer's
camphor
wood chest and Lister's trunk, to their quarters, from Starbug?! And what
is
the
matter with Kryten? And will Lister, ever get a good nights sleep and not
come
to blows, with the Cat, before they set off, for Earth once again?!
Find out all this and more, in the next exciting instalment of:
The Alternative Red Dwarf!
My new version of the Alternative Red Dwarf, actually set, on the Dwarf,
is now available, for viewing or downloading, at:
http://www.pguy.dircon.co.uk/newalt.htm
The old version of the Alternative Red Dwarf, is still available, for
viewing
or downloading at:
http://www.pguy.dircon.co.uk/angel.htm
If you would like to go directly, on to my Xanadu Red Dwarf Website, the
web reference is:
http://www.pguy.dircon.co.uk/xanadu.htm
Now available on my Xanadu Red Dwarf
Website. A review of Red Dwarf VIII
filmed live at Shepperton Studios, on the
4th of December 1998!
Some new Red Dwarf links, on The Xanadu
Red Dwarf Links Website,
which includes links, to The Official Red Dwarf
Website (U.S.A).
Red Dwarf: The Official Website.
Kryten's Homepage and The Craig Charles
Online Website.
Future Red Dwarf Projects. The Xanadu Red
Dwarf Favourite Episode Guide has recently,
been updated. Recently added to Xanadu:
The Xanadu Red Dwarf Fact File Website.
Recently added: A review of the film: Xanadu,
and the lyrics, for the theme song: Xanadu by
OliviaNewton-John!
A review of the Red Dwarf VII Extended
episodes: Tikka ToRide/Ouroboros/Duct Soup
/Possible unedited material for Red Dwarf VII,
plus a review, of Can't Smeg Won't Smeg/The
Tenth Anniversary Smeg Ups/Red Dwarf
Universe Challenge and The Children In Need
sketch. A review of the Red Dwarf VIII
episodes: Back In The Red I to III!
For those of you, who are interested, in my
Unofficial Captain Butler Website, the web
reference is:
http://www.pguy.dircon.co.uk/captain.htm
Recently added to The Unofficial Captain Butler
Website: A link has been set up, for the Captain
Pugwash Website/The Captain Butler Maritime
and Non-Maritime Incidents Website, informs you,
all about, The Mary Celeste Mystery, and just
exactly, how old Admiral Horatio Nelson was,
when he lost his arm! The Captain Butler Good
and Evil Pirates Website, informs you, about all,
that you need to know, about Blackbeard and
the renowned, legitimate Pirate: Sir Francis Drake!
And my Captain Butler Fan Fiction: On The
Goodship Lady Captain has been updated!
For those of you, who are interested, in my
Unofficial Craig Charles Website, the web
reference is:
http://www.pguy.dircon.co.uk/craig.htm
Recently added, to The Unofficial Craig Charles
Website: A link has been set up for
Suzanne Rhatigan's (Kochanski Camille) Website.
ACraig Charles Career Profile.
For those of you who are interested, in the Doctor
series, the web reference is:
http://www.pguy.dircon.co.uk/doctor.htm
I am also in the process, of working, on a review of
the very first episode, of the Doctor series:
Why Do You Want To Be A Doctor?
For those of you who are interested, in
Mind Your Language, the web reference is:
http://www.pguy.dircon.co.uk/language.htm
I am also in the process of working on a review, of the very first
episode, of Mind Your Language: The First Lesson.With regard,
to these reviews, they are incomplete, due to time constraints,
but they are available, for viewing or downloading via the
appropriate websites, above, and they will always be, permanently,
available for this purpose. And when, they are complete, it will
definitely be, my intention, to notify, the various newsgroups, to
whom, they have been posted to. But sincere apologies, for any
delays, caused anyway. And my thanks, go to all, on
alt.comedy.british, who are interested, in my Barry Evans/Doctor
series, and Mind Your Language Websites, in the meantime. It is
very nice, to know, that there is more, than enough, interest to
make it, more than worth, my while, to keep, those websites, going,
thank you!
However, I am intending, to do, brief plot summaries, of all, of the
Doctor series episodes, and Mind Your Language episodes, when
I, next work, on my BarryEvans/Doctor series and
Mind Your Language Websites, as the reviews, that I am doing, of
each episode, are very indepth, and they may, take up, a lot of
webspace, in the meantime. And it is probably, for the best, if I set up,
Episode Summary Websites, in the meantime, which will be, considerably,
shorter, anyway. And, for all fans, of the Doctor series, and
Mind Your Language series, then at the very least, I have always, got
something, that will give them, something, to keep them going, for a
long time! I will also put up, a short independent notice, for this
purpose,
as soon, as it is possible, for me, to do so, anyway, especially, as I do
get, a lot of enquiries, via email, in general, via the Doctor series, and
Mind Your Language series, from all over the world!
More recently, on Lynne Guy's General Information And Classic British
Comedy Website ,you may be interested to know, that there are also
links set up, for The Men From The Ministry Website, and a Maid Marian
And Her Merry MenWebsite (but there isn't very much, on the
Maid Marian website, apart from the series Episode list, and we have got,
to set up, a counter status and a Plot Summary Episode List Website, and
an image, of Maid Marian and Her Merry Men, but at the very least, there
is now, a website, setup, for the series, at long last!)
But for those of you, who are interested, in Lynne Guy's General
Information
And Classic British Comedy website, then please go to:
http://www.pguy.dircon.co.uk/lynnes.htm
On my Lynne Guy's General Information And Classic British Comedy website,
you will find links set up for:
Our Astronomy web page
The College Of Adult Education in
Wolverhampton Website
The I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again Website
The Cats Protection League Headquarters Website
The Wildlife Park Kirkcudbright Website
Kevin Blake's Puzlebox Hobbies and Puzzlebox
Business Websites.
The OfficialWebsite Of The British Monarchy.
Recently added to my Lynne Guy's General Information
And Classic British Comedy Website, you can find a web
page, which informs you all, about me: MarieBirch!
Also Recently added, to my Lynne Guy's General Information
And Classic British Comedy Website.
A message of sympathy, for the families, of the victims, and the
fire-fighters, who lost their lives, via the attacks, on The World
Trade Centre and The Pentagon, in the United States of America.
That's All For Now Folks!
Marie Birch.
--
All email traffic on this computer is virus monitored by Trend Micro
PC-cillin
|
